Hitting the rock...and breaking it down to its core!

It feels like I am hitting a rock right now...I do not know where to turn I wish things could be different, yet I am still going through life not changing a thing. I learn a lesson but do I actually go out and change no! Why not? That is my question to myself. The whole time when I was in West Virginia I thought this is my time...no distractions...I would have been able to have such amazing quiet times but of course I did nothing. However I know that even though I was not pursuing Him, He was sure pursuing me. I still felt He taught me things on my trip. Even though I did not listen to Him when He was clearly calling me to come and meet with Him somehow He got through to me. I am most definitely lost in this world without Him, He is the one who carries me through. Even in these past few years as I was/am trying to go through our families financial situation, to my best friend moving away, to one of my close friends death, to my first breakup. All these trials have strengthened me and have had their purpose in my life to varying degrees. Some I still am coping with every now and again.
I guess I feel like I am trying to hide in a bubble or maybe it is just my personality of how I cope with things. I kind of jumped to something else right now...because I do entrap myself...I purposely avoid thinking about things instead of facing them head on. I swim on the surface of everything just to avoid the tough stuff. Someone asks how are you? my response is pretty good but am I truly? sometimes or at that moment maybe but before or after who knows. Only God does! He is there for me and is there to catch every tear I cry. I have learned that He is the reason we are here, He is the reason we are living, He is the reason! Though there are things that we sometimes do not understand He has a plan and we should trust Him with it even though it may be hard sometimes...and boy do I know...yet in the end it brings out rewards!

Philippians 4:13 "For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 " That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather , we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

Nahum 1:7 " The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him."

A couple other good scriptures that I am not going to write down but you can read on your own time are Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 and Job 1 which he gets everything taken away from him yet he still praises God. As I was going through my journal of things one entry after I read Job 1 I wrote that "though we have troubled times just have faith in God and what He is doing.---trust---God has a plan though we may not see it now there is always a reason for things. "

I was going to talk about my trip, but now I will save that for next time.