tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47353571052598096632011-07-07T18:41:15.679-05:00This is where I will be pouring out my heart and soul. There are no limitations to the words I say here. It will describe my life and the trials in which I am in. Along with my spiritual journey!underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.comBlogger271100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-18793270928173277402010-01-07T21:54:00.002-06:002010-01-07T22:01:53.430-06:00

Why? God why? Why must I feel like this....? This feeling of emptiness and wanting of someone...someone that is tangible... I need him...where is he? I am trying to wait...right now it is unbearable! I just want to know who it is? where he is? If it is him or not? Show me God? I want to talk to him yet I dont I am waiting for him to make the move. Why must it be so hard?! Why am I in this funk?!

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-40646187916301528872009-06-04T21:42:00.003-05:002009-06-04T21:59:56.696-05:00

I definitely needed last night! High schoolers just seem to still have that child within them that just shines and brings that out in me! Something about the way the worship carefree it is one of the best times to worship is when I am with high schoolers I cannot explain it...you all should just experience it once. Then I totally forgot about tomorrow here my best friend is coming into town and I

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-14257902426950831702009-05-31T00:00:00.003-05:002009-05-31T00:21:04.888-05:00

Its amazing how one can be missing something for a few days and not realize it until it is found again.Here I am worshiping in church and realize how I have not come to him with anything in the past few days I put him on the back burner...why I have no reason I had time and yet it did not occur to me to have in in that time.I even missed worshiping something was lost within me these past few days

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-21806444639887628862009-05-14T00:46:00.002-05:002009-05-14T01:09:39.286-05:00

so I really dont know what I want to write...I cry out with no reply and I cant feel you by my side so I hold tight to what I know you are here and I am never ALONE! You are apart of me though you are invisible (Barlow Girl)God is blessing the broken road that is leading me to you! (Rascal Flats)He will like me for me (Third Eye Blind)I am just waiting...God is writing my love story(Barlow Girl)I

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-33096246152450643232009-04-29T00:15:00.003-05:002009-04-29T00:23:36.319-05:00

"Average Girl" by Barlow GirlSo what I'm not your average girlI don't meet the standards of this worldChasing after boys is not my thingSee I'm waiting for a wedding ringNo more datingI'm just waitingLike sleeping beautyMy prince will come for meNo more dating I'm just waiting'Cause God is writing my love storyBoys are bad that's certainly not true'Cause God's preparing one for youIf you get

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-18696876216209671532009-04-25T01:14:00.003-05:002009-04-25T01:40:55.800-05:00

InvisibleAs I walk the halls they don’t notice meOr they pretend I am not thereThey know of my backgroundBut do they know the underneathThey judge me for what they seeI have to hide the real meI cannot keep living this lieI make myself invisibleI don’t want them to find outI have been ridiculed beforeLet them see the real meThe underneathI want to become visible For some reason this poem right

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-36529050308163048032009-01-08T00:28:00.003-06:002009-01-08T00:46:15.053-06:00

So I keep doing this to myself the same old thing...why I ask myself? I try to get it out of my head these deceitful lies, not that they are all bad but just to know that the devil is trying to get under my skin and use my thoughts against me! I just needed to come here and get it out...and I realized in the process that I have not been on here in a really long...............time!I do not know

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-80866881611840026042008-10-14T00:28:00.005-05:002008-10-14T01:03:21.179-05:00

Wow so where to start...First off I just feel so renewed after this weekend being able to fast and pray on Thursday, then on Friday got to have some major God time while enjoying His creation! Then got to have some amazing fellowship with the campus crusade girls in the Dells! Then came back and got some rest which was needed! Rest is fully essential in our walk with God, because if we do not get

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-48243627781357513612008-10-06T22:59:00.004-05:002008-10-06T23:56:21.347-05:00

So it has been a little while since my last blog a lot has happened that is for sure. First of all, the biggest thing that has altered a lot is I switched dorms and I am now actually in a dorm room. I had the option if I wanted to go to a different dorm or stay in the one I was in, but I just felt God was leading me to where I am now. I do not know what He has in store for me, but He has a plan.

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-27364978017739254212008-09-25T20:24:00.003-05:002008-09-25T20:47:03.869-05:00

Wow so where to start...Well God is amazing first off! Yesterday, was Meet you at the pole, and there, a few of us just got to worship in the sense of praying and singing on the gorgeous day that God provided! God has been teaching me a lot lately. For one, I am stepping out of my boundries now to God's infinite possiblities He has in store for me, like the fact that I am now a prayer leader for

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-84545980970998818202008-09-14T13:01:00.003-05:002008-09-14T13:45:56.471-05:00

I WILL NOT BE MOVED! I am absolutely in love with that song right now, it's by Natalie Grant if you have not heard it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyEMJBhCtU8Though I am off in a new place, where I did not really know anyone, God provided me with amazing Christian friends to keep me on the rock. I have gotten connected, and I can feel God moving through me right now. It is definitely scary to

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-91822253672735672012008-09-08T22:52:00.002-05:002008-09-08T23:07:08.610-05:00

As I was walking back to my dorm tonight from a leaders meeting for Cru, I just felt peace, I was just walking and praising God for a brisk, yet beautiful night. I know I am supposed to be here for some reason. I feel I am going to grow so much here. I have met a lot of great people that God obviously placed in my life purposefully. God so far has blessed me a lot here, and I am getting along

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-64004049602975789702008-08-28T23:15:00.002-05:002008-08-28T23:24:28.661-05:00

Well I am currently off on a new adventure! I am looking forward to it; right now I am not sure where God is leading me or what He wants me to do, but in due time I will know.College life is definitely different than living with your parents, and right now I have a lot of free time since my classes do not start until Tuesday. I have a feeling I am going to love it here, cause I already do! There

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-51230344721024909592008-08-22T01:00:00.004-05:002008-08-22T01:12:47.800-05:00

Philippians 4:6-7"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all that he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard you hearts and mind as you live in Christ Jesus."Philippians 4:13"For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."Philippians 4:19"And this

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-56238229741310660562008-08-21T00:35:00.003-05:002008-08-21T01:03:33.409-05:00

Okay so goodbye is such a weird concept! Since I am leaving for school next week I have been having a lot of goodbyes, and it has gotten me thinking. Normally it is like bye see ya next week, yet now it is like BYE I will not see you until you come back. Yet, why is it like that for goodbyes only if we are leaving for a long time, because what if you do not get to see that person again after that

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-31184299600260296372008-08-19T23:41:00.003-05:002008-08-19T23:44:47.301-05:00

Things are finally coming together! YAY! I have been talking with one of my roommates and it seems like we are going to get along real well. So I am excited about that. That's all for now.

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-9355083315493993492008-08-15T00:13:00.002-05:002008-08-15T00:44:19.803-05:00

Right now it is silent in my house, but truly how silent?! As the fan whirls around and makes this clicking noise, and as I type the sound of the keys clattering away. Can life ever be silent? I guess maybe if you put heavy duty ear plugs in.I was reading a couple of my friends blogs and got to thinking about my quote unquote quiet times. Are those times really spent listening to God and being

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-52880868328968729212008-08-04T17:56:00.002-05:002008-08-04T18:03:06.144-05:00

So I have decided that I need to get back to where I was! Right now I have been slacking, not fully there, I have not been pursuing him like I have before. I do not know quite what it is but all I know is I am excited for tonight to get back to him and be in his presence.Another thing that I am ready for is this new chapter in my life, because as of right now something is lagging. In three weeks

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-9182332863818339162008-07-19T00:37:00.003-05:002008-07-19T00:59:35.259-05:00

It is now July 19th and normally the first 18 years of my life at this time I would be in Lake of the Ozarks otherwise known as Osage Beach, Missouri. The last few years however we have not gone there, you have to understand we went to the same place and it became like our second home, and now I miss it. The place we used to go to no longer exists. To clue you all in this was not just the family,

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-31826640225288369222008-07-15T23:23:00.002-05:002008-07-15T23:50:15.100-05:00

so I have not written in a while...I have been crazy busy or just wiped out at the end of the day. Finally I am going to talk about my trip to West Virginia only because I also got my pictures up on my facebook. The first day we were there it was Fathers Day and it was gorgeous day. We decided to go down to this lodge that you can only get to by a gondola now let me tell you if you need/want

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-50731267556875047422008-06-26T23:38:00.003-05:002008-06-27T00:44:44.166-05:00

It feels like I am hitting a rock right now...I do not know where to turn I wish things could be different, yet I am still going through life not changing a thing. I learn a lesson but do I actually go out and change no! Why not? That is my question to myself. The whole time when I was in West Virginia I thought this is my time...no distractions...I would have been able to have such amazing

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-13981086414858336142008-06-12T22:02:00.003-05:002008-06-12T22:21:08.687-05:00

Its amazing how one can see something in a different light when you look at it long enough or just have a clear mind. Like the beautiful clouds of a storm in the distance or the lightening that lights up the dark night. You can just see the beauty that God created, feeling the wind on your skin and as you take it in it brings you back. As it brought me back tonight it made me think of so many of

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-88215755017287697712008-06-03T20:58:00.003-05:002008-06-03T21:07:22.462-05:00

AHHH.... so right now I am sick of the trials with money. I just need someone there to talk to right now and I am wondering how people are able to just waste their money away on things. I do not know right now my mind is running a thousand miles a minute and I do not even know I just needed to type right now.

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-51503619413693826652008-06-03T17:18:00.005-05:002008-06-03T17:41:22.696-05:00

I keep putting on a smile even though at times I really do not feel that way. I was looking through some old photos, and sure they capture a moment but do they truly capture they way you are feeling at that moment. In some of the photos I know I was going through a lot of pain yet I put on a smile trying to pretend that everything was okay.I try to get past certain things as well, but I still get

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-54199498023736936942008-05-28T22:47:00.003-05:002008-05-28T23:28:23.578-05:00

Lately I have realized that one can fall in love with an idea of something and not realize it until it is too late. Right now I am not doing my quiet times like I should I have been lost in my own world with too much time on my hands that I feel I have time to do them later...but do I really have time later?! I am here now and I do not know when my time is done. This lesson I have learned hit me

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-74001918936161140192008-05-15T17:06:00.003-05:002008-05-15T17:21:03.621-05:00

So does anyone ever feel like you have everyone pour there stuff onto you and you then have no one to lean on? I feel ever since my best friend moved, I have not found someone to the same extent. I do not mind people leaning on me, I am a great listener, yet I need someone there for me. That do not judge me, does not care what I say, and listens to me and my opinions; then to know that they will

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735357105259809663.post-82163898745356960632008-05-13T14:45:00.002-05:002008-05-13T14:52:05.802-05:00

As the winds blows on this gorgeous dayNo one knows what goes on insideas the wheels turn and time goes byI still hideyet here I am bearing my soulnot knowing where I am to gothe words on this page are me...and me aloneno strings attachedI am here "naked" before you all!

underlying beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07922026546453082591noreply@blogger.com0